Thursday, March 12, 2009

Barren Streets (Come Join me)


Barren streets
Try to knock me down
Red blocks, I pass by them
I walk alone, striking chords with lifeless things

I look around, sky is not so blue
Everything around is an illusion
Flowers are no more alive
Have they lost thy hue?
-----------------------------------------------
Don’t cage yourself in a pot
Jarred are your thoughts
Break open it, come out
Or you might loose yourself in the droughts

Come join me
Coz I walk alone, striking chords with lifeless things

Life is waiting on the other side
Smiling, dancing into the street
Take a look around, open up your arms wide
Let the soil and heaven meet

Spread a smile, offer a hug
You need what I need
Give it all, don’t be a smug
Let the humanity seed

Come join me
Let us walk together, striking chords with lifeless things

© rahul

17.03.2009

Chaat Vaat Khaalo..!! Creative House

Image - World Of Stock (Might be subjected to Copyright)

9 comments:

Couplets - world of 2 lines said...

very goood...............

Make Me Disappear said...

@ Couplets - world of 2 lines

Thank you..!!

Josephine said...

Hi Raul,
Very nice!! Too often people just close up...
Good read!!
-Alex

Anonymous said...

Oh,
I like this - its sweet. Nice to read something not depression.

Alok said...

great one Rahul
and i totally agree with Meena.. lots of positivity in this poem.. keep up the good work..

Make Me Disappear said...

Thank You Alexandra, Meena and Alok sir..

thank you for your encouraging words and time..:)

Opaque said...

I must hand this to you that you have come up with yet another thoughtful theme. Good on you Rahul!!!

But, again, sadly, here and there, the expression kinda looses its essence. You know me, I am very particular about every single detail.

To be honest, I have been reading this since quite a few days. And, I really like the theme, I really do. But, I stand by the errors I have found.

I think you know what I am referring to. But, if you don't, well, e-mail me and I shall explain.

Keep writing!!! All the best!!!

Make Me Disappear said...

Thank You for the read Ajey.
Well, honestly, I could not figure out the errors despite this being my own song. lol

Please E-mail me the errors you are pointing at.

That would be a great help.

The one thing that I think could be changed is :
Coz I walk alone..
It can be chaged to:
As I walk alone.

Is that okay?

-Rahul

Opaque said...

Yea, I shall e-mail you about my thoughts. The first error needs to be pointed out here itself - change the spelling of "join" in the song's title.

Yes,I respect the truth that it is solely your song. Keep it up!!!

All the best!!!