A reason for our existence
Ever day is a new game
A reason to laugh, a reason to cry
The rest is in vain
Untouched faces across the road
One single look and then they disappear
A smile just passed by, walking but looking behind
There he stands, King Lear
Betrayed, with a sad face
Facing Earth, with a frightened gaze
One moment of betrayal
One candle light blind date
With known yet unknown person
For lust, or love sate?
A girl with a bowl
And crowded cars on the signal
She peeps through the window with a dry tear
But, sadist behavior from the car
Without even noticing her, 4th gear
Don’t give her any money
All she needs is a helping hand
Books, and treasured knowledge
Entry in the attendance register
A name, a bright future
Alas! Ignorance is our bliss
Ignorance is our nature
Anger is our body
Anger is our stature
© rahul
06.04.2009
Chaat Vaat Khaalo..!! Creative House
Image - nitawriter.files.wordpress.com (Might be Subjected to Copyright)
6 comments:
A different take on my recent post, eh? Nice to know you think so too, Rahul.
I love the narration here. Fantastic title!!!
To me, if any changes has to be made here, it would be minor ones and mainly while adding music to this piece.
You're conveying a lot of information, emotional information in each verse. You are going sophisticated. Nice attempt there!!!
"Don’t give her any money
All she needs is a helping hand"
- very true!!! very thoughtful!!!
Instantly, I am thinking of a few acoustic guitar strokes and this line being sung. But, without drums. Feeling me Rahul? Yea!!! That's what I am talking about.
Well done!!!
PS: Once advice; just one, okay - make the structure steady in this one. That's all. You've got a winner.
Hold on, I'll put it in our secret code. Heh. The graph is climbing Rahul. Cheers!!!
Please do not think I am being nice for the nice things you wrote about me. You know my brutally honest policy. Hehe.
Ajey,
I thought so. Glad you liked it.
Yea, I already worked for a tune. But I am looking for some alternative, as I am not fully satisfied with what I got.
I will work on the structure, for sure.
And yes, I know your honest policy. So I can very well say that you really liked it.
I said nice things about you coz you deserve them. :)
Thank you for the read and appreciation buddy.
-Rahul
And yes,
I am happy that the graph is climbing up, heh..
Thank you Ajey..
Hi Raul,
Love this one! Nice flow, love the theme - good writing there!!
Alex
@ Alexandra
thank You..!!
WOW... you are good in writing for social causes...
the last but final stanza has really come out well. you know without proper feel, a song or poem will come out little forced. your lyrics are full of feel...
Congrats!! I hear your graph has started to climb :)
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