I am walking
With empty hands
In my empty pockets
As my dreams are empty
Hitting the stones
That comes my way
I raise my head
And take a look at the stars
Gleaming in the sky
At the place so high
A sigh and I stopped
Trying to think
Where does my soul eloped
Have the stars said something
Like,” Shine before you die”
For this is your last moment
Your only moment to survive
Nights come and go
But I remain the same
Incapable of knowing what I am
Silently every night, I follow the stars
Trying to catch them
And find a way to my dreams
© rahul
07.03.2009
Chaat Vaat Khaalo..!! Creative House
Image - Last Night(s)
With empty hands
In my empty pockets
As my dreams are empty
Hitting the stones
That comes my way
I raise my head
And take a look at the stars
Gleaming in the sky
At the place so high
A sigh and I stopped
Trying to think
Where does my soul eloped
Have the stars said something
Like,” Shine before you die”
For this is your last moment
Your only moment to survive
Nights come and go
But I remain the same
Incapable of knowing what I am
Silently every night, I follow the stars
Trying to catch them
And find a way to my dreams
© rahul
07.03.2009
Chaat Vaat Khaalo..!! Creative House
Image - Last Night(s)
8 comments:
"Shine before you die”
beutiful line..full of inspiration
felt connected wid this lovely composition...wenevr im sad i look at d stars...lots of thoughts pour in nd reminds me dat 'im alive'
:)
I like the title.
"Silently every night, I follow the stars
Trying to catch them
And find a way to my dreams"
These lines are quite good. I would play with the first verse a tad more. Umm, for instance, I would stick to adding a "my" to the second line as well. I understand why you have not done so. But, I believe none shall complain of the repetition. It shall gel well there.
There are tiny gramm. errors. Still, I like this!!! It is simple aka easy to relate to.
Thank You Ajey. :)
I hope I, to some extent, am living up to the expectations.
Yes, you are beginning to live up to my expectations, at least. As I have written to you before, give it time and thought and you will be amazed by the magic you can create Rahul.
All the best!!!
I related to this one very much.. the questioning and the aloneness..
Unlike Bros, Im no expert on poetry or lyrics. Some move me and I appreciate that... this one did for me...
thank You A'Jay :)
last time i came, comments were not enabled .. and you posted 3-4 new poems so fast !! nice .. i really loved the feel of the poem .. when reading, i tend to read in a flow... if it breaks, its a distraction .. it happened here in the third line itself.. i guess the line "in equally empty pocket" makes more rythm .. try it ..
thanks!
will read more later :)
@Pretty Me
Thank you for the read. First of all, sorry for the trouble, but now that I've enabled the comments, you can alwys come and read my works, I too will be a regular to yours.
And, about that change, I'll keep that in mind
Thank You :)
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