Four candles
They burn slowly
Sharing hope and light
So pure, so white
The flames are yellow
While thy soul is red
Burning slowly
By the means of a thread
The thread of love, prosperity
In each other’s warmth
As their bodies degrade
The flames start to fumble
The end is near
Yet they have no fear
Anytime, they might crumble
Last pray to God
Lying in each other's embrace
And offer the last glow
The breath stops, they die
Damn, it’s dark again
© rahul
10.03.2009
Chaat Vaat Khaalo..!! Creative House
Image - Photobucket(omgeezgodie)
They burn slowly
Sharing hope and light
So pure, so white
The flames are yellow
While thy soul is red
Burning slowly
By the means of a thread
The thread of love, prosperity
In each other’s warmth
As their bodies degrade
The flames start to fumble
The end is near
Yet they have no fear
Anytime, they might crumble
Last pray to God
Lying in each other's embrace
And offer the last glow
The breath stops, they die
Damn, it’s dark again
© rahul
10.03.2009
Chaat Vaat Khaalo..!! Creative House
Image - Photobucket(omgeezgodie)
6 comments:
Hey that was beautiful Rahul... end kinda stopped me
This is good. But, I lost it at the end. The word usage in the last line broke it for me.
Nice!!! Keep it up!!!
Thank you Ajey.
I'll try to make some changes in the end.
Don't think Im negative about your work, like I said I thought it beautiful.. and your brilliant for putting it out there...
I'll try and explain it a little better... the words flowed, and as I read I could envisage the candles.. the lines had movement, and I think the 'Damn' brought that flow (and the mental image you created) to an abrupt halt....
does that make sense, or am I waffling...
Yes, it does make sense. I understand what you are talking about. Same thing was said by Praveer too.
Point taken...
amazing...
u hav a gr8 ability to convert ur thoughts into words....beautiful words.
last para is outstanding
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