Off the sun, I drink thy liquid
Facing him eye to eye
Off the sky, I eat thy cloud
Down the countryside while I drive
A surreal evening
A blur dream, hallucination
Dented by serenity of dark
Doomed by silence of bells
Un-ending roads of thoughts
Perpetual sagas of dew drops
Which rests unfettered in the realm of reality?
Thou hang on a new leaf
I’ll drink water of it
A feeling pervades to occupy
And entrust space of my mind
All I see is a dim of realism
Perceptions petrified by thy silence
I eat thy thoughts
To linger my hunger
Which never is satisfied?
By one, just one psychedelic breakfast
© rahul
Chaat Vaat Khaalo..!! Creative House
22.06.2009
4 comments:
Rahul,
Nice!!! Love the surrealistic touch! After all things are what we make of them...
-Alex
@ Alexandra
Thank You! Yes, you said it right!
I am not sure whether I can convey via "1" comment on how I feel about this piece.
Apart from my criticism about the title, I like your lines here. It is indeed surreal. But, really is it?
I mean, after re-reading it, I could manage to establish connections with reality.
Not that it is a failed attempt, it is just that I imagine this as a different piece. That is why I advised you about the title.
There is something about these lines that you have managed to both confuse one's mind and also deceive someone that it is quite simple to understand. Am I making sense?
Wisely written! Keep at it, Rahul!!!
@ Brosreview
Thank You!
Yes, I know you don't like the title. I purposely chose this title thinking that it goes well with the theme I tried to work around! But maybe it was a wrong step.
It was a deliberate attempt from my part to confuse the reader. It is not a complex piece. And as you've said, it is quite simple. You're always to the point, heh. Like always, you nailed it clean.
Thank you so much for taking time and writing your honest review!
Respect
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